HOW TO COPE WITH MOM GUILT
I recently contributed to a blog on the topic of Mom guilt. As a mother of grown twins, I understand how easy it is to second guess every. little. thing. I have ever done as a parent and can manage to make myself feel guilty about it. This guilt comes in many forms and it’s easy to turn anything into a reason to feel guilty.
Either I did too little or I did too much. I wonder if I make the right decision, should I have done something else? Did my choices ruin my child? I’ve compared myself to others and worried myself sick.
But let me tell you something: some of this guilt is actually a mechanism of protection. It comes from a natural drive to want to give the best care possible to your children, it keeps you engaged in a relationship with your offspring.
However when this guilt gets out of balance, it may start to cause you harm and invoke burnout. This guilt becomes stressful and can cause physical, mental and emotional exhaustion, less joy, self-blame, and insecurity that if left unchecked can lead to the development of anxiety and depression as well as parenting problems.
DO ANY OF THESE MOM GUILT CLASSICS APPLY TO YOU?
I feel like I didn’t do enough for the kids
Second guessing my decisions and actions
Feeling less than a “perfect mom”
Blaming myself for my kids’ issues
I don’t enjoy motherhood all the time
I miss my old life before kids
I feel guilty about having “me time”
I feel bad being a working mom
I’m not as good as the super mom next door.
It’s important to share these experiences and gain knowledge to support moms on the wonderful and challenging journey of motherhood.
HERE IS A LIST OF MY TOP TIPS TO COPE WITH MOM GUILT
1-Keeping a good connection with your kids is far more important than trying to achieve perfection.
2-Motherhood is not fun all the time- and that’s ok. It’s part of the job.
3-Parenthood is a journey of learning.
4-Taking care of your needs makes you a better mommy.
5-Don’t beat yourself up, there’s always a new day waiting to start over again.
6-Tune inward to find the wonderful mom you want to be and get inspired by women who you consider role models of motherhood.
Realizing you made the wrong choice will happen a lot. That does not mean you are a bad mother. It only means that you are like everyone else – human and learning. Think of mistakes as learning lessons that can make you better if you will use it to improve yourself.
A common issue in modern society is the growing number of moms who find themselves isolated which can only magnify the mommy guilt. It takes a village to raise a mom, not just a child. There are helpful things you can learn from other moms about the experience that can help you normalize your experience and lessen the grip of mom guilt.
Other times, you may suffer feelings of guilt shortly after child birth. These feelings of anxiety are often associated with Postpartum Anxiety and other feelings of depression. These are also normal, and can be treated.
This is just a quick overview, if you’d like to read the full article with all my tips and tricks to cope with mom guilt, you may read it on Polite As Fudge blog.